Sanctuary by Kate de Goldi

Author:Kate de Goldi
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780143772019
Publisher: Penguin Random House New Zealand
Published: 2013-04-07T16:00:00+00:00

We danced the rest of the night away. Simeon and his friend were sharp on their feet. Penny and I raised eyebrows at each other after the first dance.

‘We learnt at school,’ said Simeon.

‘At Mairehau?’ I said.

‘No, no, Red. Mairehau is my brother’s alma mater. I graced the halls of Christ’s College. Dormitories, actually. Boarding scholarship. Yes, Red, I’m a smart boy. Just unregenerate.’

‘How come Jem didn’t go to College?’ I asked.

‘He was judged more mature than myself,’ said Simeon with heavy irony. ‘Capable of disciplining himself, not being distracted by fleshy girls.’ I blushed. ‘Not that he was a monk, of course. Just discretionary. And discreet.’

The strobe lights were working now, the room dipping and sliding. I had had just enough wine to feel slightly dizzy. We danced hard, sweating and panting. The beginning of the night seemed years away. I knew that Nan and Toni were watching me and wondering about the arrogant boy who swung me around and held my gaze for just a bit too long when we were at arm’s length. I knew that Stella was noticing too, even while she sang, but I didn’t care. He was just a friend of a friend, I could truthfully tell her.

As I danced I thought of Jem at home in the Salters’ living room, reading probably, drinking some of the Old Man’s Glenfiddich maybe, keeping Peppy out of the biscuit cupboard, waiting for me. I thought of him seeing my cabaret clothes, undressing me in the Salters’ spare room.

I thought of Paul Hewitt and his pleasant voice and wondered whether I regretted being rude to him.

I thought of Stella singing and that awful moment when I couldn’t recognise her, when my chest tightened and my breath seemed to come through a pinhole.

I thought of Stella’s voice cracking when she sang ‘Not While I’m Around’, of the quiet tears at our table, my hard irritated face.

I thought of Nan looking at me, her brow creasing, wondering where her girl was, her old Cat, careful, sensitive, lovable Cat.

But when the band started the last number and Stella crooned softly into the microphone I stopped thinking. I closed my eyes and moved closer to Simeon, leaning on him, smelling his smell, feeling his body shape, so different from Jem’s.

Speak low, Stella sang,

Darling, speak low:

Love is a spark

Lost in the dark

Too soon?

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